cristiano ronaldo} 17.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

its a long post.. so don't read it at 1 shot if you cant. this story is not fictional, its based on real characters. Alas, enjoy.

-- Start --

Year: 2000

Kevin, in many ways, seems like a normal guy living out his secondary school life. He's in sec 3, in a prominent boy's school, had average results, and basically didn't have many enemies in school.

Unfortunately, he didn't have many friends either. He's very much a geek in every traditional sense - he never visited pubs, clubs or discos before. He goes home or to the library straight after school. Outside of academic concerns, he's on very good terms with most of the teaching staff in school. He spends most of his free time reading comics or using the computers - to him, Computers are his first and foremost love.

Still, something hurt inside. Probably the lack of true friendship - he never 'hang out' with his classmates, because he just doesn't find the reason to - he occassionally accompanies a few classmates for lan gaming sessions - and that's about it. Deep inside, he yearns close companionship - but on all fronts he looks self-sufficient.

Many of his classmates know of his less-than-stellar family background. He lost his mother right after birth (due to a divorce), his father was convicted before due to a minor offence, and his stepmother treated him badly. But it was all over now - his grandparents and relatives decided to bring him out of his previous family and take care of him. He slowly, learned that life was more than books, scoldings, and beatings.

Due to his upbringing, he never had any self-esteem. His stepmother had beaten him for little mistakes - forgetting to push in the chair after meals - dropslet of water left on the kitchen sink - wet taps after showers in the bathroom - all unreasonable beatings. All her criticisms are peppered with 'useless', 'shouldn't have let you live' and 'you're a disgrace'. Thus, Kevin, although normal, felt inferior to almost anyone he met in school.

Computers and the internet was the catalyst. The internet was a treasure trove of knowledge, a fountain of infinite depth - from it Kevin gleaned heaps of information about the world - and discovered he has a natural affinity for computers. Also, online chatting, and IRC, which has been denied from him for so long, opened up to him.

One evening, after having dinner, Kevin logged onto IRC, and into his frequent channel, #SPEED. he was a fan of the japanese girl-group. For a simple reason really, one of the singers resembled a girl he had a crush on in primary school. Still, the songs appealed to him and he was involved in many relaxing conversations in that channel.

He got to know many foreign SPEED fans too, and one of the first is an indonesian chap. He was a humourous individual, and his oft twisted views on life often made Kevin feel better, releasing his stress from school.

This evening, however, the indonesian chap messaged Kevin with uncommon urgency:

Hey Kev
Yeah?
I want to introduce someone to you - she's also a big fan of SPEED, and she lives in singapore too!
Ah, I see.
Go message jpopspeed! She's online now!
Uh, ok...

** opens a chat window with **

Um...hi there.

-long silence of 30-40 seconds-

Hi!
Hi, do you know ?
Yes, he is my friend - do you know him?
Yep, he's from indonesia...he wanted to introduce you to me.

-long silence again for 2 minutes-

Izzit? How did you know him?
I'm also a SPEED fan, and just met him online by chance..
By the way, I'm kevin, 15, currently studying in Maris Stella High. And you?

-LONG pause of 3 minutes with no reply-
At this point, Kevin switches over to Indo.

Hey, I don't think she wants to chat to me... she's not replying.
Really? Cannot be, she's very friendly, let me ask her.
I mean, you don't have to introduce her to me, since she's not keen on making friends...
Ah, rubbish, you just wait for her to reply.

** meanwhile, on the other window, Jpopspeed messages Indo **

Erm....Indo?
Yeah? How are you?
Do you know ?
Yeah, he's my friend. Why?
Why did you ask him to message me?...
Well, he's a good friend, you're a good friend, and since you 2 live in singapore, I thought it might be good to let you people know each other.
I see....but he doesn't seem to like to talk to me...he's not replying.
Really? Hmm, just wait, he will reply

At this point, as you readers will notice, that BOTH sides think that the OTHER person isn't replying. The reason shall be explained later...

Still, after awhile (and many pauses in between), they got to know each other. Kevin and Jpopspeed chatted online pretty often, every other day in fact, and Kevin felt at ease chatting to her. She always seem to know alot to respond to whatever Kevin has said - it was a joy to learn much more about SPEED, Japanese (she was learning japanese) and about live in mixed schools.

Kevin soon learnt that Jpopspeed's real name was Jasmine. She was a little reluctant to reveal it at first, and it made him wonder why. Still, it didn't matter. Kevin's admiration for Jasmine grew daily - she knew all the little details of the singers, and had an extensive collection of their imported albums. She was also an excellent student in school - something that Kevin couldn't boast of.

Very soon, less than 2 weeks after first chatting to each other, Kevin called Jasmine on the phone. The first 'hello' exchange was shocking to Kevin - the voice was so familiar, it sounded exactly as he had thought it would sound. Her voice is of smooth, mid-toned, methodious speaking, not at all high pitched or nervous. Still, first time speaking on the phone was a nerve wrecking experience for Kevin - he didn't know what to say, and ended up rattling lines of subtitles showing on TV. Still, hearing Jasmine's voice was of great joy to him.

Then, at the time, showing on TCS 8 was a Japanese Detective drama called Kindaichi. Out of ideas on what to say, Kevin decided to spontaneously 'dub' what the characters were speaking on tv to Jasmine over the phone. He replaced all the dead serious dialog with silly, often downright stupid sentences. Still, it made her chuckle, and they often chatted for over 3 hours every day.

One day, after school, Kevin logged on and found Jasmine on ICQ. So, he messaged her with the usual greetings...and a weird feeling suddenly struck him. Stupid ideas whirred in his mind. Maybe...he could ask her to be his girlfriend? You must be thinking know, what a silly question to ask. It was a silly question definitely, after all, they had barely known each other for a month. But...something in Kevin felt that it was right - it felt like a ball of yarn stuck in his throat unless he said them to Jasmine.

So...

Erm, Jasmine..
Yes?
I was...erm... wondering...
?
If....you could be...my girlfriend?
.....
-long 2 minute silence-
I mean, if you don't want to, you can tell me, its ok...I didn't mean to offend you...
No, its ok, give me some time to consider... maybe I'll call you later tonight to tell you what my choice is..
Ok, but whatever you do, don't be angry at me.

** Jpopspeed logs off **

The next few hours were torturous for Kevin. He kept replaying what he had typed to Jasmine - he wondered if he had upset her - blew the friendship - what if she never speaks to him again - she must think he's a pervert - a weirdo - to be asking her a question like that...
..he doesn't even know how she looks like!...

Later that evening, at 10:20 pm, the phone rang.

Erm...Kevin?
Jasmine! I'm sorry for what i've said this afternoon, I hope it didn't make you unhappy... i know it was a stupid request...you don't even know me well...
No, no, I'm not unhappy. It wasn't a stupid request...
I've thought over it...and..I think I can accept your request...
!!! You mean, you will...be..become my girlfriend?!?
Y-Yes..
(Too excited to talk or think properly) Ah... I mean...ok...thank you...
Its...erm...late now....you have school tomorrow, maybe you...erm...should sleep earlier?
I know....ok then, I'll talk to you some other day then.

**hangs up**

Thus, that night, after less than a month of knowing Jasmine, they became attached to each other.

-- End of Part 1 --

-- Beginning of part 2: Discovery --

That night, as Kevin eased onto his bed, many things drifted through his mind. Was asking Jasmine such a question...good? Would it backfire and could lose her as a friend? At first, his mind was filled with all sorts of negative images, as his stepmother's voice echoed within his cranium 'You're useless!' 'You only upset people'.

But, as he turned in his bed, unable to sleep for more than an hour, he thought of Jasmine's voice. That one voice that sounds reassuring, so warm and sensible, and Kevin began to fantasize how Jasmine might look. After all, she didn't have a picture to send over to him (neither did he), but it seemed so natural just to wonder. Would she be as beautiful as her voice is wonderful? Such thoughts excited him - for being in a relationship was something he had never imagined.

That night, Kevin drifted into sleep, in his mind, holdings the hands of Jasmine, whom he cannot see her face, walking into dusk.

-- Two weeks before National Day, Year 2000--

As the weeks go by, their phone calls grew lengthier. By now, occassionally, when Kevin called Jasmine, her mother would pick up the phone. She sounds concerned, of course, but cheerful to know and sometimes chat to Kevin. 'Ahhh, what an understanding mother,' Kevin thought.

Understandably, he hoped to meet Jasmine in person soon. But Jasmine always evaded his requests - she's usually busy, with her CCA, Prefect meetings and other school activities. Knowing that she's very capable, Kevin was disappointed, but not upset with not meeting her. What will come, shall come, he always thought.

-- The week before National Day, Saturday, Year 2000 --

Kevin was a church goer. In fact, ever since he was converted by a classmate in sec 1, he unerringly attended service every Saturday. He participated fiercely in the church activities, from ushering people through services, to moving 30kg speakers in Logistics. All these activities made Kevin feel belonged - he had a purpose in life. Still, it did not fill him completely, something felt missing.

That day, just before the service, one of Kevin's church leaders was encouraging the group to evangelise more. Invite more people, and so on. A sudden thought struck him - maybe I could invite Jasmine, that would be fun, and it wouldn't be so awkward in a group! Thus, in a nervous fit, he dialled her number and waited for her anxiously to pick up

One ring....two rings.....three rings...

four rings....five rings..

*click* and a familiar 'hello' came through the receiver.

Hey...!.. Are you free today?
Um....why?
Well...I'd like to ask you out...you know, to my church service...it'll be fun! And you don't have to worry about awkwardness!
But....its so sudden...I'm not ready..to...um, meet you yet..
What's wrong? Do you have something on? Or is anything holding you up?
Um, n-no... but..I didn't expect you to ask me out today...I'm...not prepared...
Why not? We're very friendly here, and we're all hoping you can come!

**Just then, a church pastor walks by. He's a jolly fellow, and with a little prodding from Kevin...**

** Pastor (to the phone receiver)
"Hey! Good to know you, please come down to the service, we're all waiting! See you later!"

Did you hear that? That's our pastor. He's THAT friendly, so you don't have to worry. So, please, come down! I'll go to the mrt station to pick you up!
Um....ok then, then I'll see you at Somertset Mrt at 4:30pm...but if I don't turn up, don't wait for me ok?
What rubbish! I'll wait till you turn up! See you later!

**Hangs up**

"Heh," Kevin thought. "That was quite a reckless thing to do to ask her out like this..". He soon wondered if she would turn up at all. Then it struck him....even if she did, how would he know WHO she is? He didn't have a mobile phone then.. and neither did Jasmine. Hmmm, well, he decided to keep faith and wait.

Time -crawled- that day. Kevin ran to the station and was there before 4:15 pm. My, the station was busy that day. And since he didn't know who to look out for, and every other girl that walked out of the station gates had been gawked at by Kevin. Still, time unrelentlessly ticked by slowly, bit by bit.

It was past 4:30 already. And Kevin's still alone at the station. Thoughts rammed through his head... would she have met something that cropped her up?... or did she want to avoid me...yes...she must have wanted to avoid me...I'm so stupid to have asked her out like that...maybe she's here already...and she thinks i'm ugly, so she's going to slip away silently......that must be it....can't blame her...I'm ugly anyway...

Minutes passed with Kevin entertaining poisonous thoughts in his mind. He did want to give up, after all, which sensible girl would accept such a rushed meeting from a guy she never met? But.. hearing that another train just arrived at the station, he decided to stick around for 1 minute more and see if anyone walked out...

Scanning the aisles gate by gate, looking for someone that he cannot recognise. It seems so stupid to be doing that, don't you think? As his eyes gazed over the triangular gates, a patch of yellow caught his eye. Eyes slowly travelled up the figure....eventually meeting a pair of dark eyes staring back at him.

She has appeared. He doesn't know why he's so sure...but....he knows that's her. The figure was clad in a bright yellow Ocean Pacific T-shirt, donned a pair of nondescript blue jeans. Her shoulder length black hair hung generous and straight from her countenance and her hands gripped the straps of her sling bag tightly. The dark eyes flashed and gleamed with questions and nervousness. They both held their breathe and their eyes locked onto each other intently - as the world around them stopped in motion... and they opened their mouth...

"Jasmine?..."
"Kevin?..."

Somehow, they'd recognised each other without knowing to how they looked - was a miracle in itself.

-- End of Part 2 --

-- Part 3: First contact --

"Jasmine?..."
"Kevin?..."

As the words hit them both, their eyes searched each other for signs of recognition. Kevin saw her eyes flicker with with questions once again. They seemed to pierce through his eyes and search his soul... for signs of recognition, for truth, for trust. He felt his hair stand on end. For a terribly long -3- seconds.

Then, Jasmine abruptly broke the stare, revealing a small smile and simultaneously blushing at the cheeks. Kevin couldn't help but blush too, and he scratched his head and grinned stupidly.

"I finally asked you out," he murmured.
"Yes..but I didn't know if I wanted to meet you... because it was so sudden.. I didn't have time to prepare.
"Prepare what?"
"Um..girls need time to dress up...and moreover, I had to tell my parents I'm going out..."
"I see...erm...I must say that you're very pretty..." Kevin blurted. Darned, he thought. He shouldn't have said that.

Jasmine blushed profusely and her hands gripped her slingbag straps even more tightly. "No...I'm not pretty..you don't have to flatter me..."

Kevin was floored. Not pretty? How on earth could she think she's NOT pretty? He looked hard at her face again. She wore no makeup. Hell, she didn't need make up. He couldn't make out any flaws on her face. Sure, she couldn't be compared to celebrities, but hell, nobody should compare themselves to such stars. Moreover, her skin wasn't fair - she was slightly tanned, and it seemed to fit so well on her..
"No, I really mean it, you're really very pretty. I'm the ugly one..."
Jasmine looked at him questioningly and seemed confused. "No, I don't think you're ugly...moreover...I feel that you're very nice."

Kevin didn't know what to say. All his life, people have said he's ugly. His family members said so, his classmates said so, and most of the people online gave him the impression that he's no way good looking. She must be worried that she would hurt my feelings, Kevin thought.

Soon, they started walking to the church venue. The service is near ending anyway, there wasn't a need to rush. Kevin's mind whirred furiously for topics to talk about. Still, nothing surfaced and they walked along the crowded streets. Glancing at Jasmine from sideways, he saw her bit her lip and looking down at the floor. waves of emotion tumbled over her face, and confusion came over her eyes. Eager to break the silence, he tried breaking out all the jokes he've heard in his life.

Imagine a couple walking down a busy street. Now imagine the guy jabbering away like a monkey and gesturing like a clockwork toy. Then again, imagine the girl looking up at the guy and giving a puzzled expression. That should tell you that Kevin's not a very good comedian. Then again, whenever Kevin glanced at her, she would reveal a little smile and twinkle her eyes But soon enough, when they're reached the church venue (Le Meridien Hotel Ballroom), the awkward silence had passed and they talk animatedly about their musical interests and school life.

--End of Part 3--

-- Part 4: The first walk in the moonlight--

When they reached the food court, it was nearly 5 pm. Still, most of the church contingent wasn't out yet, but Kevin caught sight of one of his better friends in the church, Justin. Justin was one year Kevin's senior, but had similar interests in computers. He was tall, and looked eccentric, but was pleasant company. Thus, one of the first friends Kevin introduced to Jasmine was Justin.

Justin, being the sensitive friend he is, just did the mandatory greetings and proceeded to head for his usual hunt, a LAN gaming centre Seeing there's hardly anywhere else to go, Kevin decided to bring Jasmine along to Parklane. But, they got to know more of each other now.

Jasmine lived in a well to do family, and had a younger brother. He was amazed at the range of activities she was involved in - she was a school prefect, was in the Girl's Brigade, part of her class management committee, had won numerous awards ever since childhood. It didn't matter how many she had - but her eyes twinkled with every careful step she took. As they walked on the footpath, her footsteps lightly grazed the floor they walked. Every step seemed calculated the walk more of a dance as her eyes fluttered with joyfulness.

It didn't seem to matter if there were occassional silence - all that was needed was looking at each other in the eye and seeing the smile on the other's face.

Since Kevin was part of the ushering team in the church, he often had to take home certain items for safekeeping. This time, he had a small plastic bucket with him. It wasn't heavy, but since he was already carrying a bag on his shoulder and a file in his left hand, having a bucket on the right hand gave him the overloaded look.

"Do you want me to hold that bucket for you?" she said.
"Ah? Oh...ok, if its not too much trouble..."

With that, the plastic bucket ended up on the right hand of Jasmine. But still, it didn't feel right to Kevin. Why should he left her carry the bucket for him? Sure, it wasn't heavy... but it just doesn't feel right. So he stretched out his right hand, wanting to take the bucket from her.

As his hand travelled to her side, to his surprise, Jasmine's left hand stretched out.

"Erm, I wanted to take the bucket for you..."
"Huh? I thought..." as she blushed a furious red. "I..that's so embarrassing!.. I'm not going to stretch out my hand anymore!.." and she folded her arms.

As you would have thought, as Kevin stretched out his hand towards Jasmine, she thought that he wanted to hold her hand...and so willingly shook out hers to grab, only to find out he actually wanted to hold the bucket for her.

"I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...don't be angry...I-I...want to hold your hand too..." he blurted out without thinking.

She frooze in her tracks.

Kevin stopped abruptly too, wondering if what he just said had offended her. After all, this was the first time they've met.

Her head turned to face him and tilted to the side - looking questioningly. Did she think I was making fun of her? No, I had no intention of making fun of her...

-- End of part 4--

--Part 5--

It felt like she was trying to read his mind. Her eyes burned slowly to the back of his head - and it did make Kevin think again about asking for her hand - after all, this is their first time out.

Slowly, as they walked along the slightly quieter path, she unfolded her arms and let her left hand swing rhythmically with her footsteps.

This time, when her hand brushed past his, he caught it. There was no pulling away, no panicked fumbling of fingers. Neither was there the questioning gaze anymore. Their fingers interlaced slowly, in between each other, like liquid cast into a mould. The thumbs rested upon each other every finger in a warm embrace.

As the warmth flowed from her hands to his, Kevin's confidence grew. He began talking animatedly about his knowledge of computers and science, in general. It didn't feel long before they found themselves in a McDonald's restaurant.

The restaurant wasn't crowded, and they found a comfortable table easily. Just as he was going to ask if she wanted anything, she stood up and took his order instead. Soon, she was back with a Big Mac for him, and a Filet for herself. When Kevin reached for his wallet to pay for his meal, she didn't acccept it, "Its just a meal...consider it my treat".

Having a meal with Jasmine was a joyous activity. The air was punctuated with giggles and marvelous quips from both people. It was a melting pot for two people who led vastly different lives. For example, she ate slowly, taking careful nibbles out of her food, keeps her mouth closed while chewing and only speaks when she doesn't have food in her mouth. On the other end of the scale, Kevin eats like a refuge from a third world country ("Kevin....you're taking such a big bite from that big mac in 1 mouthful!?..") can't keep his mouth shut when eating ("Erm...there's lettuce from the side of your mouth...") and has a tendency to talk with his mouth full ("Hmmm? I can't hear what you're saying...maybe you would like to swallow first?..").

Still, he loved to hear her speak. Her eyes sparkles whenever her pet subjects crop up in the conversation (SPEED, Babies/Children, School life) and she would go at length animatedly. She liked to share her thoughts - he liked to listen - it wasn't a complex relationship. Kevin held her hand from across the table throughout the conversation. He even tried to read her palm for laughs - and discovered that the tips of her writing fingers were slightly wrinkled - something he did not expect. She also had trimmed nails which bore no colour except for the natural pink. All over, she exuded warmth and understanding. Sometimes, when she's talking about a liked subject, her hands would tighten a little over his hands - and her smile - she always smiled with her head tilted slightly downwards or to the side. Like this, hours passed.

--End of part 5--

-- Part 6 --

Time flew like ashes in the eastern wind. The food was long gone from the table - the crowd around them grew thin. Unknowingly, many hours have passed from their first glimspes of each other, and it was already past ten in the evening.

'I think we have to go now,' whispered Kevin. 'The place is closing soon.'

With that, he held her hand and led her out of the building, into the cool open night.

There were not many stars to be seen that night, for the city lights are too bright. Yet all around them, little glimmerings of love could be seen. Couples embracing each other as they stroll towards the twilight, the lady leaning in sleep, against her loved one. Kisses and goodbyes were given to each other upon parting at the bus stops. But that word grew wearily in Kevin's mind - parting felt too dreadful for now, and he did not know what should he do, or say. Should he send her home? It might make Jasmine feel awkward to send her home on the train - but he did not have the money to fetch her home by a cab.

Along the dimly-lit stretch of pathway they walked again. It seemed empty, and all was quiet except for their footsteps.
'Where should we go now?..' muttered Kevin.
'I'm not sure... its getting late. Maybe we should go home?'

Those words sank the heart of his. He had expected such words already - for a date must definitely end. But even though he tried to steel himself mentally, his heart remained unwilling to part from Jasmine.

'How are you getting home?' asked Jasmine in her next few steps.
'By bus.. I guess. My home's pretty near here.'
'Oh.. I have to take a train...and then a bus.. I think an hour after you reach home... I'm still not home yet.' she frowned.
'Ah... erm... I see..maybe..' he stammered. 'You might want to come to my place?'

Jasmine turned suddenly and looked at him bright-eyed. Surprised she seemed - and her eyes searched his - for whatever signs that prompted Kevin to speak those silly words. His heart raced, and he immediately regretted the sentence he said earlier.

'Erm...I mean...that... er..' he gushed profusely. 'I didn't mean...'
'Actually... I don't mind... actually... I would like to visit your place,' said Jasmine as her eyes returned to the path. 'and look at that computer you've built yourself.'

A silly smile came over to Kevin's face immediately and he scratched his head stupidly. 'Well.. its nothing much really.. but would your parents worry about you returning home late? Do you have a curfew?'

At this her fingers tightened around her bag straps a little and she said with a slight blush: "Actually... I told my Mum I won't be going home tonight..."

n uneasy silence fell over the path towards the bus stop. Even though their hands were still locked together, their thoughts wandered off to different realms.

Jasmine wondered if she had been too forthright or overbearing with her last sentence. Did she misphrase it? But, what she said was the truth either way.

Kevin, on the other hand, was trying to find his thoughts in his mind. Too many whims flowed all over, and for some time it seemed like his mind was blank - yet he was worried about what might happen later.

When they reached the bus stop, Kevin felt many questioning glances falling on him. Were people wondering why a girl is taking a bus with him? Or does he look incompatible with her? Or is he just plain going nuts? He doesn't know. All he can see is Jasmine, still holding his hand, glancing around curiously. Finally she turned to him.

"What bus are we taking?"
"Number 64....why?"
"Nothing...is it very far?"
"No.. its just a short ride."

Seemingly satisfied, she returned to glancing the road, as if looking out for the bus. Kevin was left, lost in his thoughts.

"Hey...hey! The bus is here!" shrieked Jasmine as she shook his hands excitedly, jerking Kevin from his stupor.

They scrambled up the bus quickly and nestled themselves comfortable in a back seat. Other than informing her that he would know where to stop, no other words were uttered. The ride was uneventful, peppered by Kevin's nervous fiddling of her hands, and Jasmine humming a cheery tune softly, letting the bus go on its slow drive along its path. Although the sights were nothing special, somehow, the usual streetlights seemed brighter and glittered as they flashed past them, the crowd in the bus was amazingly quiet, and the air conditioning was cold enough for them to feel comfortable leaning on each other.

"Ding dong!" the bell went, as the bus slowed to a stop near Kevin's place. The estate was deathly silent, for it was already past 11 pm. As the bus drove away, they crossed the empty road easily.

"Actually... my place is very small.. and untidy... " he stammered as they neared his block.
"So? Most guy's places are untidy anyway... it really doesn't matter." she replied with a smile.

Kevin felt even more uneasy once they entered the lift. Even though it was only a few floors, the silence made him feel like the longest lift ride he ever had. Unfortunately, even when they reached his floor, the feeling did not fade.

"I told you my corridor looks like the ones they use in old chinese dramas, with doors on both sides" quipped Kevin.

When they reached his door, Kevin unlocked them at an unprecedented speed, probably spurred by nervousness, and he opened them to Jasmine.

Jasmine took a peek through the door.

"Its not as bad as you told me... in fact, it looks quite tidy!"

Entering the flat, she sat on a couch and glanced around. "Its a little different from what I have imagined..." she said, and when she caught sight of his computer "... but that's how I always imagined your computer: complicated"

Kevin knelt down beside her (there was only one couch) and looked at her. Only then he realised how close they were from each other. They were practically breathing down each other's necks.

Then he saw her eyes staring back at him. She was blushing red when she started.

"Actually...this is the first time I'm so close to a guy" she whispered.
"Me too..." he replied as he looked at her.

Nothing happened for a few seconds, as if that moment was frozen in time. Both of them didn't know what to do then, and both of them just held their breath, in anticipation of the other.

The room door suddenly opened.

It was Kevin's grandmother. He quickly rushed into the room to explain what was happening - who she was - why was she here. But it seemed that then, his grandma wasn't prepared to accept his explanation, and accused him, quite loudly that he shouldn't be bringing inproper girls home, and he should bring her back immediately.

Kevin was stumped, at a loss for words. He walked out of the room, to see that Jasmine was looking at him intently.

"That was your grandmother?" she asked.
"Yes..and.."
"..I have to go?.."
"Well...but I really didn't.."
".Its ok.. i understand.. don't quarrel with your grandmother"

Then she stood up and got ready to leave. As always, she politely said goodbye to Kevin's grandmother, and she slid out of the house. Kevin followed.

After locking the doors, he just walked behind Jasmine. She hasn't said anything after saying goodbye. He immediately started to regret bringing her home. He just screwed up the relationship. Why did he have to be so impatient?

When they reached the lift, still, nothing was said. Then the lift doors opened, and they started their journey down.

Back in the small confines of the lift, the thoughts in Kevin's head exploded into many small pieces of chaos. He felt ashamed - he felt that it was a big mistake to bring her home, even though nothing have happened - no - something had - he had left a bad impression of her for sure.

Jasmine just looked at Kevin closely, with a wave of emotions coming over her face. Then, suddenly, she reached over and hugged Kevin tightly, snuggling her face in his chest.

"Kevin... don't be worried... or upset about what happened.. I know its not your fault...and I can feel that.. you're a nice guy...and I can see that you care for me... I care for you too... so you don't have to worry..nothing's wrong"

Kevin couldn't react. But the warmth of the embrace was overwhelming. Never before have he felt such closeness - and this powerful, deep feeling of love and concern from anyone. It felt unreal - but he wished that the lift doors will never open

Jasmine did not left go or loosen her hold on him, until the doors opened. Then, he brought her to the taxi stand.

There, along the road, he held her hand. Jasmine assured Kevin that nothing was wrong. The taxi came, and her hands left his.

"Call me when you reach home!..." said Kevin when Jasmine was getting into the cab.
"I will.." she replied softly.

Kevin didn't know what to believe, his gut feeling or her words. Yet, as the taxi disappeared into the distance, he felt a deep sense of loss. Will he ever see her again?...

-- End of Part 6 --

--- Part 7 ---

Seeing the taxi disappear into the night, Kevin turned and walked towards home.

The night felt exceptionally icy, as if nature herself gloated over his troubles. The void decks and the benches were empty - and there were only few dim lights glimmering out of darkened windows.

He entered the lift, alone, yet when the doors closed, he seemed to feel the warmth of her touch, and it comforted him, even though it might always be only a memory.

When he reached home, Kevin immediately slumped into his chair. The house was all quiet now - his grandmother has gone back to sleep. He turned to his computer, and ran Winamp.

Coincidently, it was a SPEED song that played. Slowly he listened.

...If you have feelings that are eternally pure
Don't stop your love
The brilliance of the life you've been given on this world
When you understand it
Let's start walking on the unending journey

Somewhere on this perpetually endless voyage
I'll definitely meet you again...

Unknowingly, nearly an hour passed before Kevin was jolted from his daze by the ringing phone. He dashed to pick up the receiver, to hear a familiar voice on the line.

"Kevin?..." whispered the voice on the line. "its Jasmine...I've reached home already."
"That's good... did your mum say anything about you coming home late?"
"Nope...I've already informed her...its alright, don't be worried..."

And, assuringly to Kevin's heart, they chatted till the early hours of the morning.

--- Part 7: continued ---

Somehow, the schoolweek passed eventlessly and quickly to Kevin.

After school, he finished his work and waited for evening, when he would call Jasmine and chat about things under the sun - or school.

She 'introduced' many of her classmates to him over the phone - narrating the quirks and and behavior of her classmates of three years. Kevin tried to commit to memory as much information as possible - he would have to get along with her classmates if he wanted to maintain the relationship for any decent length of time.

On Wednesday night, an unfamiliar voice answered the phone when Kevin called Jasmine.
"Hello?... Erm... Is Jasmine in?" muttered Kevin on the phone.
"Hmm, Jasmine? Who are you?"
"Just a friend..."
"Oh..ok, wait ah.."
A few seconds later, Jasmine's voice came on the line.
"Hello Kevin...how are you?" she spoke coolly.
"I'm fine...um.. just now that lady...was your mother?..."
"Ahuh... but don't worry, she gives me alot of freedom on relationships.."

He had asked her out on saturday again, to the same MRT station and time, like last week.

Strangely, meeting Jasmine again still made Kevin nervous. Maybe it was only the second time - he still felt a little distant from her - or he was afraid of forgetting what she looked like - for he did not have her picture - or even, he feared that she might not turn up.

Kevin thought at length, trying to recall in detail how Jasmine looked like. He was amazed at his lack of memory, for her discovered that her face was mostly fuzzy - and he thought he might have remembered her face wrongly. That wouldn't be good.

Saturday came, and Kevin found himself waiting at the same place as before. The anxiety was still there, and the lingering dread that she might not turn up remained. But, thankfully, Kevin caught a glimspe of her waving in his direction, with a warm smile.

Today, Jasmine took the initiative to bring Kevin around town. They strolled from Somerset to Takashimaya, where she brought him to several Japanese stores hidden in some discreet corner of the shopping mall.

Kevin never realised that Takashimaya had such stores. On the other hand, he hardly shopped anyway, at least not alone, and definitely not in Japanese stores where he could not communicate too well.

Still, he realised there was always something to uncover about Jasmine. She took Japanese classes during Sundays - she had several Japanese penpals - and she frequented Japanese gift stores to order products from Japan that she couldn't find in Singapore. In fact, one of her dreams was to work in Japan.

One thing that's not "Japan-ized" though, is her dressing. She favoured Ocean Pacific shirts, and she always, so far, appeared in jeans. She never put on any make-up ( as far as Kevin could see), and she always kept her shoulder-length hair flow naturally down her back or in a ponytail.

Today, Jasmine brought Kevin to a store dealing with gifts - and there she collected a SPEED calender she had ordered months ago. She revealed she had quite a sizeable collection of SPEED memorabilia in her room.

Their interest in SPEED was what first brought them together. A strange twist of fate that logic sometimes fail to explain.

Whenever she marvels at his abilities, he wonders if she's just patronising him, or worse, pitying him. Yet her very words lifted his moods.

Whenever she displays her exceeding talent for languages, academics or etiquette, he can't help pondering why someone like her would waste her time on him.

She was, in essence, perfection to Kevin's eyes. But her very qualities made her ethereal, like she could ever disappear, and never be seen around him.. again.

As the day passed into evening, they have gone through most of what Orchard Road had to offer in japanese merchandise. Then again, she surprised him by getting some sort of japanese fried noodles, a sort he never saw before (you can get them at Takashimaya's basement 1). Hand in hand, they strolled out of the shopping complex, across the road, where there were seats in the open.

For most, the memories of being fed food usually went back to infancy, when you were helpless with cutlery and usually fed the table your meal. For some luckier ones, they could recall being fed by their other half. Could you remember such a feeling?

Each delicate mouthful was accompanied with her twinkling eyes, and though the food was good, it felt especially warm, tasty, palatable. Food had more than taste - it had warmth which went straight to your heart.

A meal, of course, usually doesn't last too long. The day had fleetingly gone by, and darkness now envelopes Orchard Road. As they strolled, hand in hand down the street, the numerous flashing lights from passing vehicles, the colourful neon signs of buildings and the busy chatter of the crowd rushed past his ears.

Here he was, holding the warm hansd of someone whom he had feelings for. Yet, the day was about to end. In stark contrast was the cool evening atmosphere and the hurried ignorance of the world. He knows, after he says goodbye, he would see Jasmine turn and walk away, soon to fade into the crowd which is Orchard.

For many of you though, would think Kevin's over-reacting. After all, all banquets will come to an end, and all friends will have to part some day. But will he see her again? To someone who has lost much in his life before, it looked like a very distinct possiblity that someone so precious would be lost. He didn't want to let go of her hand.... but he soon would have to.

They soon walked to the crossroads. Kevin would be taking a bus to the north, home, while Jasmine would go south, somewhere that he didn't know, and take her bus home. They lingered at the junction - both holding their breaths, fingers fiddling. Taking a deep breath, Kevin finally mouthed:

"I... don't feel like going home yet..."

Then he bit his lip and looked away, suddenly realising how stupid that sounded.

"Neither do I...want to leave you yet.." she whispered. (For those who could read chinese text, she actually said "我也不想离开你...")

--- End of Part 7 ---

The cool breeze blew through the junction that night - and sent a chill down Kevin's back that made his hair stand. Then it struck him – the icy atmosphere was so familiar to him, the physical manifestation of loneliness and abandonment. Though he knew that he would have to let go of Jasmine’s hand and say goodbye for that night, he didn’t want to experience the cold night again.

Kevin’s hand tightened slightly over her hand, and he exhaled a long sigh, which made Jasmine look at him intently. She seemed like she was calculating something.

“Would your grandparents worry?” she suddenly piped up.
“Huh? Worry about what?”
“If you did not go home for the night?” she continued.
“Well, if I called them and told them so, it’d be ok…”

Jasmine handed her mobile phone to Kevin.

“Call them,” she said with a smile “and tell them you’re not going home tonight!”
“Huh? Then where will I be going?”
“To my place. After you call your grandparents, I’ll be calling my mother to let her know you’re coming over.”

Kevin’s heart skipped a beat, and he hurriedly called home. He soon returned the phone to Jasmine, who made her call and spoke softly. After she kept her mobile phone, she turned and faced Kevin with a beaming smile.

“Let’s go!”

'What are we going to do over at her place,' I muttered silently under my breath.

'Did you said something?' Jasmine beamed at me, her delicate features ever so beautiful. I still cannot believe that a geek like me, had a relationship going on with this girl right here.

'I'm fine, let's head over to your place,' I said, trying to calm the shivering tone that was becoming a little too obvious.

We walked towards the bus stop, through the chilling night. In flesh, it was unbearably cold. In soul, there was this fire raging deep within. The darkest recesses of my mind, a place which used to be barren had an inhabitant. There was just something about Jasmine that could warmed me up in the coldest night and the bleakest situation.

It was a short walk, no more than 10 minutes. The physical transaction of covering distances was nothing compared to the emotional transaction which fuelled my very being. It was indeed a walk to remember.

Halfway through, we saw our bus, which was probably the last one as it was getting late.

'Come,' she said as she tightened her grip on my hand and began to run.

I'm not quite of an athlete myself and found myself trudging after her swift footsteps. We managed to catch the bus, it was empty.

We sunk into our seats gladly, I was panting like a dog when I felt something being pressed against my forehead.

Jasmine was pressing a piece of tissue gently over the beads of sweat that were scattered all over my face. She was close, very close. All I could do was look (or stare) at her, there was this feeling of happiness which you just cannot explain.

Then, she held out that packet of tissues to me. Absent-mindedly, I took another piece and started to pat it on my face.

Jasmine raised an eyebrow and went 'Hmpf', turning her head over to stare out of the window.

It was only then that I realised how big of a fool I had made myself again. I pulled another piece of tissue frantically out of the packet and asked her to turn around.

'No, it's fine,'

'I.. I'm, no, you..' was all I managed to say.

What I did next, or why, was beyond me. I drove a finger into her sides which made her jump.

She spun around with a sharp laugh and went, 'Hey!'

This time, I didn't wasted any time. My hands launched into action as I wiped off her sweat. Then, she rested her head onto my chest. I'm not sure if she heard the bass drum pounding inside but I guessed that she didn't care.

'You know, I really like you,' she said softly.

Raising my courage, I put my arms around her and told her that I felt the same.

As the bus drove off into the night, there we were. 2 souls entwined in a world of our own. If time could be stopped, I would have it done so at this point.

Precious moments such as this, will leave a bigger impact on my very being when the unfathomable end hits.

But for now, I was the happiest man alive.

For now.

Part 10

The bus pulled up at the bus stop just outside her place.

It was already an hour past midnight. The lamps that lined up along the pavement of Jasmine's house walkway gave the place a faint and eerie glow.

'Nice bungalow,' I said, admiring the structure that stood before me. 3 storeys of carved marble, supported by victorian beams with a lemongrass patch right in front. We walked along the stony path which lead to the front door.

My mind was running wild.

'What am I suppose to say, or do ?'

Why am I even here in the first place ?'

'Meet the parents?' This sentence brought back some bad memories of the movie with the same name.

'I hope not,'

A woman with a warm smile greeted us when we rang the door bell.

'So, you must be Kevin right?' she asked, stretching out her hand.

'Hi auntie,' I replied as I returned the handshake.

Jasmine went on to tell me that this was her mum, which I already know and brought me to her room. Actually, it was her mother who suggested we do that, saying that young people like us needs more time alone.

What an understanding woman she was.

I saw posters of 'SPEED' all over the walls of her room, some CDs lying around here and there, clothes thrown all over the place, in short, it was a mess.

'I'm sorry, my room is not as neat as yours,'

'Actually, it is no problem and I think I should be the one to apologise,' I told her and gave a sorry look, 'Your mum is so hospitable, unlike my grandma ya know..'

'So now you know,' she replied with a stern look on her face.

Being the idiot I was, I went into a fit and tried to explain and to make up for it. All I got in return was a burst of laughter.

'I'm kind of thick up there, sorry,'

She stared at me, the dim room was illuminated by a single table lamp. The area was surreal, the blue walls mixed in oddly with the light. The setting of the place made her seemed more beautiful, so beautiful.

'I don't care if you're thick or stupid, that's how I like you,'

If I had a mirror, I would have known how stupid I looked after hearing that. All I could tell, from what I could feel on my face, was that a big grin had drawn itself across.

I stole a glance at the clock, it was 1.20 am, we had plenty of time and I was going to use every second to the fullest.

Tonight, was the night, the truth came.

I wasn't prepared for it, hadn't seen it coming and when I learned about it, my life was never the same again.

To be continued..

fanaticme->1:21 AM